Personal Best

The second day of grade twelve is finally complete.  Aside from a few philosophical quandaries , I think I’ve got this year under control.  I haven’t totally lost my mind yet, so that’s a good sign.  Between classes and extra-curriculars and being a genuinely fantastic human being, my days are pretty jam-packed.  Maybe I’ll try to squeeze some sleep in before the semester is over.

Today also marked my first cross-country practice of the year.  Yes I’m actually participating in a sport on my own accord.  It’s taken me seventeen years to figure out that I don’t dislike sport; it’s the teams that I’ve never been crazy about.  Not to be misanthropic, but team sports just never agreed with me – to much pressure, too many people, too much competition.     What I love about running is that you’re only really competing with yourself.

We met after school on the front lawn.  Despite being the oldest person there, I didn’t tower over anyone.  Most of the other participants were grade seven boys, with whom I share a similar stature (five feet or less…).  I didn’t let the age division deter me – I was there to run.  After some quick stretching, we laced up our shoes and set off.

So, I consider myself a pretty decent runner.  I won’t be winning any marathons in the near future, but I’m no greenhorn either.  But wouldn’t you know it, after the first few minutes of the run, I found myself at the very back of the group.  In fact, I was the slowest runner there.  

In the past, this would have really discouraged me.  I’d be angry and confused at my inability to live up to the achievements of everyone else.  My entire self worth would have been questioned by one perceived “failure”.  But not this time. 

I remember back to a time when I could barely for a minute without being in pain.

I remember times when I was so weak that I couldn’t run at all.

I used to spend so much time trying to be the best, instead of what I should have been aiming for: my personal best.  In the end, that’s all that really matters – how we measure up to our own expectations. 

            I may have been the slowest runner, but I ran the farthest of anyone else.  Maybe I wasn’t the best person there, but I gave my personal best.  And that’s good enough for now.

On another note, I'm hoping to prepare a recipe post within the next few days!  Keep checking back for all kinds of new things on Emily Untitled.